I take back everything I said about communal showers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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