I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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