I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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