so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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