That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
