I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We named our party play list daddy issues
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
