just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
