I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
