i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
