You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
