I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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