Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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