My first STD was from a foam party
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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