I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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