Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
