Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
