he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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