never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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