Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
