I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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