this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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