As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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