we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
