I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
