Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
