Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
