I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
