Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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