it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
look no pants
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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