I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
