Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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