Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize