Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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