What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
