She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
