do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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