I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
