so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize