I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
