My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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