tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
