I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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