considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
