Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
