did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
