we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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