yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
