If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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