Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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