ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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