and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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