I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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