Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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