Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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