Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
