i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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