plz talk dirty to me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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