At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
