i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
