I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
