Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
